March 11, 2024
Wazzzup homies!? Bet you thought Da Bomb got got by Squirtle or abducted by aliens or burst into flames of formless radness or something. Wrong, yo!
I traveled millions of virtual miles to a mysterious and exotic world—like Bruce Wayne—to study the secret art of Crypto! You probably never heard of it cause it’s so mysterious and exoctic and all, and if I tried to teach it to you your brain would probally melt. But all you really need to know is it is a powerful magic power that turns pennies into fat stacks and makes you rich as f*ck!
But here’s the best news: your boi Da Bomb is going to share the power of his magical power with you! That’s right, because you are reading this, you are one of the first and only people in the world with access to Bombcoin!
Now like I said, I can’t really explain it to you because the knowledge would probably break your brain, but, trust me, you want it! So Venmo all the money you have to @BombMeBro and get ready to be rich as f*ck!!!
You’re still reading this? What’s wrong with you, homie!? You probably just lost about $100K reading this paragraph. Okay, here’s a FAQ to answer any stupid questions you might have. But you better read fast, homie! The price of Bombcoin is rising by the second!
Q: What is Bombcoin?
A: Yo, if you don’t get it, you don’t get it.
Q: How can I get Bombcoin?
A: Bombcoin is so bomb, it’s not on any of the lamestream crypto exchanges. It’s only available to the Bombnescenti in very limited supply, directly from your boi, Da Bomb! I’m busting it out for the crazy cheap price of 💣$.000012 = $1 USD. You can will Venmo your order to @BombMeBro. But act fast homies, that price is going to shoot up faster than Mario on super mushrooms.
Q: What can I buy with Bombcoin?
A: Stop thinking like a fungible old grampa, yo! Bombcoin isn’t part of the archaic pay for something/get something paradigm. Bombcoin doesn’t pay for “things” or “services” or any of that tangible shit, yo. Don’t ask what can you buy with Bombcoin. Ask how Bombcoin is going to make you rich as f*ck?
Q: How is Bombcoin going to make me rich as f*ck?
A: That’s a really stupid question, yo. Ever hear of a little thing called supply and demand? Bomb bros like you buy up Bombcoin ➡️ Whack losers who didn’t listen to me want Bombcoin ➡️ You sell them Bombcoin for 10,000 times what you paid for it ➡️ You get rich as f*ck.
Q: Can I get a refund for my Bombcoin purchase?
A: Hahahaha! You’ll be too rich to care about things like refunds anymore. Those are for losers who need to watch their spending and balance their budgets.
Q: Didn’t you lose $100 betting on the Detroit Lions to win the Super Bowl this year?
A: No.
