Moment of Impact
April 30, 2022
Yo homies, what’s black and blue and rad all over? Da Bomb after a car tried to take him out, yo!
I was out on my daily 16-mile training run when I saw my boyz Mario and Luigi kickin’ it on the other side of the road. As I was running across the street to give them some love, this death mobile comes flying around the corner straight at me at like 150 miles an hour. Fortunately, I’ve been training my vertical jump so I leapt up 12 feet into the air and cleared it with ease. Unfortunately, my timing was a fraction of a second off and the front of the luggage rack clipped one of my feet as I was coming back down.
That flipped me ass (sorry Moms) over tit (sorry Moms) and I did like 18 aerial somersaults before I hit the pavement. I landed on my feet and kept running, but now my ankle is like broken or contusioned or decapitated or something.
The guy who hit me claimed it was an accident, but if you believe that, I got a helium mining modem I’d like to sell you. I know that boy was working for that punk-ass b (sorry Moms) Squirtle, who’s been trying to even the score with me and Mario ever since our beef in ’19.
When you’re as bomb as Da Bomb, the haters are always trying to shut you down. Now I know how other bomb dudes like Ghandi and MLK and Jesus felt, yo.
Anyway, the doctor says it’s the worst ankle injury he’s seen in his 20-year career, so it’s gonna take like a week to heal, but then I’ll be back and better than ever, yo!
I was recording a running advice episode for the new Bombcast I’m launching this summer when it all went down, so check out the actual audio of the attempt on your boy’s life.
